“It was a secret world, he is still a puzzle to the world” -梵高之谜01

I read a book about him when I was in the school, many years ago of cause. I till could remember the day I bought it. It was at school’s ‘sell out’ at the library, it was old, gray, and full of dust, you could hardly see its original color, a cloth cover; its paper, a sort of , yellowish, thick, I could also smell the smell even now, kind of mixture of ink and old paper.  

The reading was very slow. I was busy as many of the young now and then. When I was at that age, too much joy out there I wanted to attend. But, I love it. It was my little secret world, when at the time students were not allowed to ‘full in love” with each other. I was stunded when I read that he had a few women he loved. It was totally a different world; the story was fascinating to me.  

At that time, books are scarce. I share everything with my friends everything I enjoy, so I agreed when a friend of mine asked me to let him to read it, but it never returned…. Same thing happened to another book I forgot its English name.

I was lucky, I did not know this book was so invaluable, as Van Gogh is still among one of the arguing personalities even now... Some of his works cost millions while at his time none was sold, or just about at about $25 Franks. One piece, maybe as i recalled from this book.  


Some of his qualities set life-long influence on me. Number one, he loves people, especial those ordinary people; next, he was a ‘failure’ but he never stop; his models were cheap, only $2.00 Franks/ hr; he was a ‘fighter’ to his life, he was always trying and trying… he never fear of ‘failure’ that most of young persons nowadays even dare not to think about it, or even to face in life; some adults too, when business fails; boss got angry about the jobs; jobs are not well paid; on and on and on.


His ‘suicide’,  as some people still wonder about evennow , is another thing remains in my heart; -one of the big question marks he left to the world. And he was mad in the end. What a sad story, and sad story always strike people more. as quite numbers of hte wirters in this blog wrote about one of the poet called "顾城" , a very normal looking person when i listened to his tlakings back many years ago at a sort of place in shanghai while the "reports-meeting" were popular.  


Today, the Internet sent one picture to me, as picture of the day: said this the painting he did while he was in the mental hospital, and what reminds what we dicussed with our lecturer, an lovely young second generation Proffor, Dr. Andrea, she said, 'Authors are dead when the products are thrown out,' "directors are dead too?"' was my interruption in the class. I was thinking somehting in relation between the art critics and artworks itself. Some moives maybe?


Questions are still there, for example here, why he left Jesus out of his painting? if he painted himself? Why? I know the simplest answer could be: "He was insane, or he was mad"



“This is the only painting by Vincent van Gogh on a biblical theme. It shows Lazarus just after having been risen from the dead.”